More Powerful Than God

2018_February12

As we look at our futures, we often fear the challenges, hardships, and steps it takes to reach our destiny. With the fear of sinking into doubt, lies, and struggles crashing over us, our minds jump to conclusions leading us to doubt God’s perfect plan in our lives. The thought of not choosing the right path or making the right decisions leads us to believe we have ruined God’s plan for our lives. That little voice in our head tells us to be careful and cautious, it creates worry and eliminates peace. We know that God is sovereign and he will guide us, yet the small voice in our mind telling us we will mess up does not fade.

In Joshua 9 & 10, God uses Joshua to show us his sovereignty and power. Joshua was given an assignment, to take over the lands and drive out ALL the people in the land. A group of men from Gibeon came to Joshua begging for help. They began to explain to Joshua that they had been traveling for days and needed to know their people would be safe. Without asking for God’s opinion in the situation, Joshua made a covenant with the men. By not driving these people out, Joshua was not doing what the Lord wanted. Other kings found out what happened and decided to attack the men of Gibeon. The Kings, led by Adoni-zedek, gathered their men to fight. The 5 kings of the Amorites went to Gibeon and Joshua conquered the men taking over all of their land. The Lord told Joshua prior to this to trust Him and that is exactly what Joshua did.

In this story, many different things could have happened. Joshua could have gotten discouraged and gave up on fulfilling God’s assignment, God could have stopped Joshua before he made the covenant with Gibeon, or Joshua could have asked God before making the covenant and finished what God asked him to do originally. Instead of these situations happening, God wanted the story to go exactly as it had.  Joshua got back up, filled himself with God’s truths, and kept fighting. Because Joshua did what he did, he ended up conquering 5 kings, including their armies and all of their land. God used Joshua’s disobedience and turned it into a perfect plan to glorify Himself. An assignment that may have taken months to finish due to the amount of land, God turned around to wipe out the all 5 kings and their armies at once.

While reading this story, I had so many questions for God. I could not understand why God did not just tell Joshua that he was about to make a bad choice. If God had a plan for Joshua, why would God allow Joshua to fall away from His perfect plan? Why would God allow Joshua to make such a big mistake that would even affect the people around him? And the Lord said softly,

“Lydia, I know the end of the story before it was finished. Trust.”

We all know that God has a plan for our lives and that he loves us. We know that he cares for us so he would not do anything without a purpose. We are so consumed in the result we are losing sight of the journey God is taking us on. We can only see all the darkness and obstacles blocking our path that is blinding our vision. While in the darkness God is standing right in front of us telling us to look up. He wants us to see his hand in our lives. To Trust that ultimately, He has us in his hands and loves us unconditionally. We are not strong, powerful, or wise enough to ruin God’s plan for our life. And for us to think that we are, is not who God created us to be. We are not meant to figure out the result. We are meant to walk with God in obedience while he teaches us through the journey.

If you think you have blown God’s plan for your life, rest in this: you, my beautiful friend, are not that powerful     -Lisa Bever

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Dear Me

Dear Me,

You have come so far

You have overcome, grown, matured, and loved

Oh how you have loved

 You loved but you learned to not

To get here you have cried

You have learned

You have waited

You have prayed

But most importantly, you have made it

We. Made it.

 

 

 

His Steadfast Love

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“She is not broken anymore. She is stronger, wiser and more beautiful than ever before because God took her broken pieces and made her new again.”

Growing up in a home where church was not the first priority, created a mindset that God was not a necessity. My faith did not become real to me until I started to get involved in a small town ministry. October 15, 2010 was the day that changed my life forever. On that day, I learned that there was a love far greater than what the world could provide for me.

Not long after that day, my mindset had changed once again. I thought that my identity was found in the people I was around and the sports I played. Soon I acquired people whom I considered friends, that helped me forget who I truly was and seek acceptance from worldly things. Sports became a safe place, where I could escape from the world and show my talents. I began to invest all of my time in becoming, what I thought was, the best.

My first year of high school, God was trying to grab my attention. After years of pushing myself to the breaking point, I had my first break. I had a serious knee injury that required surgery to fix the ligaments that were torn. One surgery ended up becoming two surgeries. Not only was I battling the emotional trauma of life without sports, my family was also dealing with the declining health of my grandmother and a near death situation with my cousin. As one difficulty led to the next, I kept telling myself nothing could get worse.

Starting my sophomore year, God proved me wrong. I began to get picked on for the actions of a close friend that caused me to shut down. I started to push others away and I spent all of my time in my room. On October 13, I lost my grandmother. The anger I had towards God grew more and more each day. I kept asking, “How could someone who is supposed to love me, hurt me so deeply?” Though it took me forever to admit it, I had entered into the darkness of depression. My addictions to worldly desires grew stronger and my faith grew smaller.

I was silently crying out to God without even knowing it. All I wanted was someone to talk to. At that point God had introduced me to my mentor. I slowly started to open up and allow her to see how broken I truly was. God then placed other people in my life that would stick around through the good, the bad and the ugly.

My junior year, I started to see the light at the end of the tunnel. As I finally began to take my faith seriously, another trial was on the rise. My health started to become a serious issue. While trying to cope with the stomach pain I was in, I started to skip meals. What started out as just a meal a day, led to not eating for days in a row. I grew weaker and weaker each day. After seeing nine different doctors, a natural specialist diagnosed me. I was forced to take it easy on sports once again until I could get back to normal. It got much worse before it got better, but eventually I regained my strength.

Not much longer after I was getting back to normal, I had my third knee surgery. The procedure was smaller than the previous ones, so it did not affect me much. In that moment, I felt like God was wanting me to close the door on sports. He started to open my eyes to see that I was placing sports higher than him. Though confused, I agreed to let them go. The thought of going into my senior year without the security that sports gave me was terrifying. I began to wonder if I would still have friends or if people would become angry with me.

Senior year was the year that God started to mend my broken pieces. The year started and while everyone else was at practice, I was at work. I told myself I would dedicate my senior to finding who I was. I started to learn more things about myself and became comfortable outside of my comfort zone. I decided to do the school musical and met the most incredible people. I began to expand my talents in art and focus more on my projects. I met my best friends my junior year but we grew closer than ever senior year. God allowed them to show me small glimpses of what his love is like and allowed me to grow. God started to open doors in my life that I would have never had if I played softball.

I decided to go to a Christian camp that June, little did I know it would change my life forever. A wise woman told me leading up to camp, if I truly knew who God was, I would not be searching for acceptance from someone on earth. The statement left me awestruck. I began to pray leading up to camp that God would become real to me. I wanted so badly to drink from His living water and not the have the temporary satisfaction that the world gave me.

That week at camp, God totally rocked my world. They way he spoke to me was like how a parent speaks to their child. He shook me and woke me up to help me realize how loved and cherished I truly am. He placed Psalms 31 on my heart:

7 I will rejoice and be glad in Your lovingkindness, because you have seen my affliction; you have known the troubles of my soul,

8 and you have not given me over into the hand of the enemy; You have set my feet in a large place

Through this passage, God was teaching me that He was by my side the entire time. Late at night when I thought I would never fall asleep, crying for hours, He was there. He started to remove the chains of feeling like a disappointment, unworthy and a waste of space. He fixed my eyes upon His face and showed me Himself.

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After I returned from a week at camp, my life was all around different. I gained a passion for the Lord and constantly wanted to learn more about Him. I felt like God wanted me to get baptized. Getting baptized was a freeing experience. Most people get baptized early in their faith, I could not have thought of a better time to get baptized. Gods timing is just so wonderful. Not only was I made new in that moment, but He is now teaching me to walk in confidence because I am a woman of God. He slowly picked up my broken pieces, using love as glue, and began to piece me back together. Though the journey was long, I am slowly realizing how bitter-sweet brokenness truly is. God allows us to go through brokenness so we are completely depending on Him. Throughout the entire journey, God never failed to pursue me, love me and bless me. His steadfast Love endures forever.